none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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