What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
