This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
