Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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