I just pynch a tree in the face
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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