im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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