But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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