But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Randomize