Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
