the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
