what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
