why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Randomize
