You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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