don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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