i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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