so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I have already put on my inside pants.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
