Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(510): View more from California

It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...

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(941): View more from Florida

Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to

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(310): View more from California

When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth

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(970): View more from Colorado

Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.

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(415): View more from California

Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms

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(954): View more from Florida

I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother

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