he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
