There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
