that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
did i walk over a car last night?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst