Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."