Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
