Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!

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(765): View more from Indiana

Why are you ignoring all of my texts?

(1-765): View more from Indiana

The power was out.

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(541): View more from Oregon

You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.

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(928): View more from Arizona

Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.

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(913): View more from Kansas

Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?

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(304): View more from West Virginia

The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.

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