ADVERTISEMENT

• (408): View more from California

  she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again

  Fav 41 869 6061

  share tweet
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.

  Fav 40 1216 3049

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (818): View more from California

  Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.

  (818): View more from California

  Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.

  (818): View more from California

  And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.

  Fav 14 3728 898

  share tweet
  

• (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009

  Fav 5 4082 866

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.

  Fav 11 3836 1038

  share tweet
  

• (310): View more from California

  If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic

  Fav 0 1357 1001

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (231): View more from Michigan

  I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do

  Fav 5 1354 752

  share tweet
  

• (516): View more from New York

  yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...

  Fav 2 1048 790

  share tweet
  

• (+61): View more from Australia

  BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON

  (+61): View more from Australia

  SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE

  (+61): View more from Australia

  THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.

  Fav 9 1775 823

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.

  Fav 7 1059 650

  share tweet
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up

  (248): View more from Michigan

  What a great time to reflect on life

  Fav 1 733 507

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (303): View more from Colorado

  It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.

  Fav 6 630 939

  share tweet
  

• (905): View more from Ontario

  ok thanks goodnight

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person

  Fav 4 1093 519

  share tweet
  

• (216): View more from Ohio

  I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.

  (1-216): View more from Ohio

  Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.

  Fav 0 25 41

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (904): View more from Florida

  For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring

  Fav 1 82 16

  share tweet
  

Randomize