I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
