I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
