I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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