he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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