I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
