idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
