I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
My feet surprised me
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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