I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
