I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Enjoy the penises
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
