I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
