Whod you bang
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
