I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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