youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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