i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
