In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
