im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he was CRYING into my vagina
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
