Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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