He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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