Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
