I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
