So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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