is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
