Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I know her cup size but not her name....
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
