he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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