She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
