Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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