dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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