I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
