Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
