he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
