He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
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Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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