Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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