i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
