I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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