never play flip cup with pint glasses
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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