u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
She needs sedatives and a leash
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
