I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
