I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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