I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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