She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
