So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
