Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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