dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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