Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
