I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
