Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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